From the perspective of your guests, it may appear everything is going according to plan. No one can see, behind that radiant smile, was months and months of planning, scrapes, bruises and melt downs. All brides will see so many disasters before their wedding; they will notice a change in their perception. They will see all things in a brighter perspective. They eventually realize, after the big day, sunshine or snow, they still have their whole lives ahead of them.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. There will always be a disaster. When you buy 5 cases of wine on sale and discover they taste less than perfect, you can turn them into sangria. When your DIY project did not turn out well, setup an arts and crafts table for the kids.
It’s ok to give your wedding a theme. You started planning your wedding. You chose your fiancé’s penguin suit and you’re looking at the different wedding dresses. Something doesn’t feel right. You’re planning the wedding everyone expects but you’ve always wanted something casual. I recently worked with a bride who decided a sixties theme wedding was what she wanted after three months of planning. As soon as we made the change, we realized it was the right decision.
They won’t know what they’re missing. It’s easy to become attached to each item you pictured in your mind at your wedding. It’s also completely understandable when you get upset when you have to let go of any item in that picture. Another bride I had recently worked with had her heart set on giving away goodie bags with a chocolate turtle from the chocolatier she grew up with. When she discovered the store had closed down, she took a deep breath and remembered that her guests were not expecting turtles.
Will your future self remember the small details? There are so many decisions you must make during the planning stage that may drive you crazy. Should we add a cover to the wedding invitations with vellum paper or send them without a cover? Should we use whip or butter cream on the cake? Before you drive yourself crazy, imagine yourself ten years into the future. Will she remember the vellum paper? Did the whip or the butter cream make a difference? What you will probably remember most is laughing with your friends and family and dancing with your husband.
Things that went wrong will be your favorite stories. I’d like to circle back to our story with the chocolatier. The gentleman who owned the shop decided to retire and the bride paid him a visit. After explaining to him how she loved growing up with his chocolate turtles and wanted to share them with her guests, he agreed to show her how to make them. She spent days working with him and made them for her goodie bags. This is now one of her favorite stories about her wedding and how she made a new friend.
Savor the surprises. At some point, you may need to face something you could not foresee. Our bride with the chocolatier planned her wedding in the middle of the summer. Nobody could foresee the rain that came in that day. She tells me her favorite memory was the feeling of the water running down her cheeks as he kissed her for the first time as husband and wife. It’s a memory, she says, that she will cherish forever.