You’re engaged and excited to march down the aisle on that special day to marry your new love. Life couldn’t be better. Yet there seems to a nagging feeling in your head: Why are you not happy 24/7 like all those happy brides in all those happy bridal magazines? Why are you feeling uncertain, overly analytical, isolated, sad and so many more other emotions?
What is usually not consciously associated with getting married is that this is a very important rite of passage: a ceremonial transition into a new phase of one’s development. Stepping through this new door opens up a world of self-discovery. Simultaneously parts of your old self may feel like they are being left behind or put on a shelf to gather dust. Realize that during the engagement process you’re no longer “single” yet not quite “a couple”‘, hence a feeling of uncertainty. It is something all brides go through and can be overwhelming but don’t despair.
Survival tactic number one is to find someone who is going to listen to you talk about these new feelings. Just listen, not judge or try to fix (that’s important). It may be a little too much to ask your fiancé or good friend to be that person as they may not be objective enough. They may want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. But that is not the purpose of sharing these feelings. You are just verbalizing them to process them.
Be aware that your friends and family are truly happy for you, but they are unsure what will happen to their relationship with you after you say “I do”. While your fiancé is going to be the number one focus of your new life, your friends and family need to realize that being number two or three on your list is still being a part of your life.
Finally, preparing for the fairy tale wedding is a good way to envision what lies beyond that new door! It will help bring familiarity to life’s next transition. And while parties to celebrate will be many, don’t feel bad about taking some quiet time to help you process your soon to be new life. Just remember, with any change, there will be happy and sad moments but that is what the best memories are made of.