How to meet the new mother in your life

How to meet the new mother in your life

There is a great deal of women who absolutely adore their mother in law. They talk about being welcomed into the family even before the wedding. Some mothers give their sons heirloom engagement rings passed down from generations. However, not all mother and daughter in law relationships are perfect. There is a great deal of women who were asked about their relationship with their mother / daughter in law and their response is best described as “I wish it could be better”.

Bride with Mother

The fact is, your mother in law is only human. There is an earth shattering change in the relationship between her and her son. You are now taking the role which was long held by her. This transfer may seem pleasant on the surface, however; may be filled with tension or full blown discontent.

• Let’s walk a mile in her shoes

When your fiancé was growing up, his mother was the primary woman in his life who took care of him. Eventually he became a man and needed less care from his mother. He could take care of himself. Once he gets married, another woman will be part of his life. When you think about this type of demotion, it is not surprising that there may issues even from the most pleasant mothers.

• Bridging the gap

First, lose the labels. Don’t see your mother in law as a needy or bossy woman. You must change your perception and see her as a person and work with her. It does not mean you must maintain a regular schedule with her, however; try to spend some time with her independently. Search for a common interest and discuss what you enjoy about it. If you both enjoy crafting, set some time aside and create a project together. When you try to build that positive foundation early, it will help you down the road.

The best time to start is before the wedding. Often, they just want to feel like they are a part of the wedding as opposed to just another guest. Invitations such as wedding dress shopping with your mother and the bridesmaids may have a big impact on your relationship. Sometimes just letting her know what is happening in the wedding planning makes her feel like she is part of the process.

• Setting boundaries

When your mother in law continues to intrude on your life, you may need to enlist the help of your fiancé. When you show a united agreement on where her boundaries are and where she fits into your new family, she may be more receptive. Be prepared for a talk and help your fiancé understand your pain. His first response may be to defend his mother’s actions without fully understanding the issue.

• Always take the high road

If things do begin a little rocky, be patient. You have time to make the relationship with your mother in law work. Always remember, you and your mother in law have something in common. You both love your fiancé. Bear in mind, if you choose to have children, you may find yourself in her shoes.

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Fall 2016 Scholarship Winner Announced

Congratulations to Michelle Wray from Utah Valley University of Utah. She is the recipient of the Tungsten Rings & Co. Scholarship for the Fall of 2016. The Tungsten Rings & Co. Scholarship program is a needs based scholarship and is awarded to students enrolled in an accredited post-secondary academic institution. The scholarship is awarded bi-annually. If you applied for the scholarship and did not win, you may re-enter another submission for the Spring 2017 scholarship. If you have not yet applied, we are now taking applications for the Spring 2017 Tungsten Rings & Co. Scholarship.

Fall 2016

My favorite thing about jewelry is that it can make a statement. Some pieces are large and command attention while others are elegant and express class and grace. Jewelry can express mood and confidence. Jewelry can embody love and companionship. Jewelry can represent someone, something, or some time that is significant. It can remind us of who we were, who we are, and who we hope to become and where we hope to go. The phrase “a picture is worth a thousand words” can be used to describe jewelry. Jewelry is worth a thousand words. The wonderful thing about jewelry is that there is such a variety is color, shape, size, and material. Each of those play a role in creating the statement about each individual piece of jewelry. Each piece of jewelry has its own story to tell; each piece of jewelry is unique. There may be two pieces made to look the same, by the same machine, in the same building, and by the same person, but their stories are different. They were not purchased, received, cared for, or worn the same way. They are different and beautiful in their own way.

My favorite thing about fashion is that it is ever changing. Through time there are different ways to express yourself through fashion. What is worn now is extremely different from what was worn two thousand years ago, two hundred years ago, even two years ago. But, also over space fashion is changing. What is worn on the United States East Coast is different from what is worn on the West Coast. What is worn throughout the entire United States is very different from what is worn in Korea, The United Kingdom, or India. Its constant change makes each time and area unique. Fashion embodies the idea of flexibility and resilience. Similar to jewelry, the vast variety of different colors, materials, and styles can be used to express oneself. Fashion allows one to also capture the spirit of fluidity.

My favorite thing about jewelry and fashion combine is each individual’s ability to mix and match them. There is no “right” answer. However you want to mix colors, patterns, materials, and styles you can. The combination of the two allows each person to display his or her own individuality. People can explore their own style and preferences. This demonstration opens people’s minds and hearts to new experiences, new ways of pairing things, and new creativity. An individual’s choice to combine jewelry and fashion allows them to express how they are feeling and what they are thinking on the inside openly on the outside. This outward expression can be used to dispose of stereotypes and support uniqueness as well as support community inclusion.

One of my favorite things about weddings is the bringing together of people. Weddings give old friends the opportunity to reconnect and reflect on their time together and also allows new friendships to be planted and grow. Often now, there are no “sides” or seating assignments. People are allowed to sit and interact with whoever they want. I love that weddings bring together so many people from different generations. Weddings are a combination of the couple’s friends and family, as well as their parents’ friends and family, and even their grandparents’ friends and family. And, the best thing about the combination of all the people, is that they all share one common interest. They have all collected together to support and celebrate the coming together and love of two people.

Another thing that I love about weddings is the unifying of two people that have a love for each other that is different from any other love. Everybody’s love is different. My love for my husband and our companionship is different from the love and companionship between my parents or that of William and Kate. Our story is different from everyone else’s. Our courtship was unique, our circumstances were special, our engagement was unparalleled, and our wedding reflected all of that. I am not saying that our love and relationship is better than anyone else’s; I am saying that our love and relationship is the exception. My parents are the exception; William and Kate are the exception. And, you are the exception. Weddings are everyone’s opportunity to witness a love between two people that is completely exceptional, un-comparable, and singular. And, being able to take a glimpse into a couple’s exceptional love at a wedding is one of the most beautiful things about weddings.

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