This is a monumental event in your life, joining your life with another, not just living situations, but paper situations as well. How can you express that? Some say short but sweet is the ticket. Others require a poem or a sonnet for the occasion. Anyway you want to gush about your love; you have to find the way to say it right.
When writing outpourings from the heart, each of you have things you must consider before you put pen to paper. Brides have to consider not just groom, but the audience: the wedding guests, what’s the message you want to get across that the guests will follow? Think about how much time you want to talk about your love-cub. And lastly, do you want to include a religious meaning or presence into your vows.
Consider your audience. The meaning of the vow is to pledge your heart and life to your future partner. In recent times, people are including their own special message with that pledge. That message is supposed to be meaningful to your bride and should convey why you want to take these new steps with her. You can talk about the first time you met or the first time you knew you loved her. Your bride is looking for those dramatic words of love that show how you feel about her. The spotlight is on you, so you better say something spectacular and not something hurtful or too personal. Jabbing at the bride in front of family and friends is not the right way to express your love for her. You want to make the personal connection with her so go lightly but remember the emotion in your self-written vows. Show your vulnerable side and compose your feelings into a message for all her world to see.
With the guests, you have to be courteous. They came to see two people in love, not to hear a raunchy joke about the bride. Watch what you say in front of family members. You want tears of joy, not tears of rage. If a touching story includes an embarrassing family moment, it might be endearing to you and your bride but brutal for the involved family member. Also, the generation range should be noted when speaking out your vows. These days, some vows are comprised of funny anecdotes from the very beginnings of the relationship. Try to keep it clean. Your grandmother, or better yet, if you include children at your wedding, do not need to hear about the first time you fumbled into each other’s pants.
What they do want to hear is why you love your lady or how you see your lives in the future. That means leave the past in the past. Leave the raunchy and rude at home. They, the bride and the guests, do not want to hear your rants about outside friends and things that happened before your relationship. Jokes about divorce are just not auspicious and might hurt your bride’s feelings. Unless its relevant to how your union came to be, leave those past girlfriends and bachelor days out of your ceremony!
Finally, should God have a presence in your vows? If you are both religious and you are having a religious service, then of course add in how God brought you two together. Remember, again, to consider your audience. Better yet, ask your bride-to-be about your audience’s preferences. Even though you both opted for a religious service, your lady might know who will feel comfortable if you mention God or recite a scripture or two.
Make it easy for yourself. Just be true to you and your bride. What do you want to say to her that will let her know how much she means to you? As you write your vows, you should also be thinking about your bright future together and what it will be like staring at your Tungsten Wedding Bands together. Go with your gut, include your feelings for her in your message and she will be happy with your words!